Are you the perfect parent?
Now that is a loaded question! Most of you probably know my answer…or do you?
My answer is this: Yes! You are the perfect parent. Stay with me and let me explain.
Perfect is not a word that I toss around very often because there is little to nothing in life that is without fault. I’m not being a pessimist, just a realist. Despite our valiant efforts, perfection is simply not obtainable. We’re human. We’re sinners. We have fallen short. Our lives bear the scars of past hurts, wrong decisions, and trials. However, we have a God, the God, who is just that…perfect. He has ordered the universe and is in complete control.
None of us are perfect people. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 does a good job, or may I say a perfect job, of disqualifying all of us from perfection. However, if I believe God’s Word to be true, which I do, and I believe that nothing happens by chance, which I do, then I have to make a logical conclusion here: God chose me to be the mom of my children, not by chance, but by choice. He could have selected anyone else for the job, but He chose me.
About seven years ago a friend called me asking if I would be willing to become part of the leadership crew at our local co-op. I was kind of stunned. “You want me on leadership?” Really? I proceeded to remind her that I didn’t have any experience dealing with large groups. I tend to be quiet and to myself. I just do my thing and am content with not being in the spotlight. Her response? “Exactly! That’s why we thought you would be a good fit.” See, the current leadership saw the big picture. I didn’t. They saw places where I could fit in and contribute. I didn’t. They had a plan for the group in place. I didn’t.
Parenting is a bit like that. God sees the big picture. He knows your children. Even before they were formed, He knew them. He knew what their strengths would be, what their weaknesses would be. He knew they would need a certain kind of parent to guide them through life. He knew that one child may be hard on themselves and need a parent who wasn’t expecting perfection from them. He knew another child would be prone to laziness and would need a parent to provide a little (or not so little) push. He knew a child would make a wrong choice, one with big consequences and need a parent who wouldn’t demean and yell, but would choose to embrace, forgive, and remind them that they are still loved.
I often hear people comment that God gives us our children. There’s nothing wrong with that statement, but I tend to think the opposite. I think that God gifts us to our children.
Here are just a few random thoughts about parenting:
- You are the right parent for your child because God has ordained it.
- God has been working on you for many years to prepare you to parent your child.
- You may be a bit rough around the edges and imperfect, but you are still a work in progress. God is still molding, shaping, and changing you.
- You are equipped to be what your child needs, and if you’re not, God will equip you with what is needed.
- Let God be your guide, in life and in parenting. Seek out His will. Scour His Word. Pray fervently for His wisdom and believe that He will supply it.
- Rely on God’s strength because parenting is exhausting. We will falter if we are only relying on our own strength.
Life is not always easy. Being a parent is a challenging job, an ever-changing job, one that keeps you on your toes or better yet, on your knees. Maybe you are struggling today with a child who is wandering. Maybe one of your children has received a diagnosis that has rocked your world. Maybe a child’s disability pushes you to your very limit everyday. Maybe you have a child who has gotten caught up in the world or is just flat-out living a destructive life. In all of these challenges remember, you are the perfect parent for this child, at this time. You may not feel well-equipped. You may feel like you are floundering, but I promise you that God chose you and He will work through you.
I speak from experience here. This year has proven to be a challenging year. I have questioned, cried, and sought the Lord for wisdom like never before. Among the lessons the Lord has shown is this:
You are the perfect parent for your child, hand selected by God to care for them even, and especially, in difficult times. You were chosen!