The Lord promises that He will meet our needs.  So, why is it that we often wonder whether He will be true to uphold His promise to us?

Several weeks ago I was slated to have an Echo Cardiogram.  The after effects of Covid had been doing some strange things to my blood pressure and heart.  The doctor wanted to rule out a few things and suggested that I get the test done.  I made my appointment and waited for test day to arrive.

A few days before my test, a woman from the hospital called to preregister me over the phone.  At the conclusion of our conversation, she told me to be prepared to pay $2247.00 on the day of the test.  I think I must have audibly gasped as she began to explain why my payment was so high.  She told me that my insurance deductible was high.  I knew this, but I also counted on the fact that my insurance company would have negotiated a much lower price for the test (like they usually do for most services).  They had indeed done that, but the negotiated price was only $90.00 cheaper than the original.  I explained to the woman that I didn’t have that kind of disposable income to bring.  She reassured me that I would be able to make payments instead.  That was no encouragement to me.  Before we ended our conversation I explained that I probably would not get the test, but I would be in contact with her to confirm my decision.

My first instinct at that moment should have been to pray, but it was not.  I reached out to a dear friend and told her what had happened.  She encouraged me, but I left our conversation saying that I probably would not get the test.  I then called my husband and lamented about the cost and told him that it was unlikely that I would go for the test. We agreed to talk and pray when he got home from work.

In those few in between hours as I waited for my husband to arrive home, the Lord really burdened my heart with this question, “Do you believe that I will meet your need?”  

Did I?  I had the verses memorized; I knew the promissory words of the Lord.  I’ve seen Him provide time and time again.  He’s provided for the big things in life like a home, an automobile, braces, and even college educations.  I’ve also seen Him provide for the little things: shoes, brakes, food.  I have even seen Him go above and beyond to gift to me some of the wants I’ve had.  Why, oh why, did I sit there filled with doubt?  Why did I even question?  Why did I even pause?  This test was a need – there was no doubt.  So if this was a need, then my first response should have been to say, “I trust you Lord to fulfill this need.”

Sadly, it wasn’t. My first instinct was to worry and doubt.  Without even praying about the situation, I was ready to impose my will, take control of the situation, and snatch an opportunity away from the Lord to show His goodness, power, and kindness to me, my family, and others.   I am constantly in awe of how much grace and mercy the Lord pours out to me.  He grabbed my heart that afternoon, showed me my doubt, and redirected my gaze toward Him.  He showed me that I could not only utter the words, “I trust you Lord to fulfill this need,” but I could boldly shout them from the rooftop knowing that the need had already been met by Him.

When my husband came home from work, we talked and prayed.  I told him what the Lord had showed me that afternoon and how I now felt compelled to get the test done. My husband agreed and we both declared: “I trust you Lord to fulfill this need.”  And we did.

Our next step was to share this situation with our sons.  All of the situations in life are training for them; they are opportunities to see the Lord move.  So, we discussed the expenses that would be ensued by getting this test done.  We openly talked about the fact that we did not have the extra money to pay for this test.  Then, we reminded them of God’s promises:

The next day I called the registration department at the hospital and confirmed that I would keep my appointment.  The woman told me that she would mark my account “to be billed”, and we left it there.

That afternoon, so burdened by my own shortcomings, I posted about my faulty thinking on social media.  I’ve learned through the years that most people yearn for people to be real, transparent, and just plain honest about where they fall short.  All too often we sanitize our media and present the highlight reel rather than the unedited first take.  So, I made the following post:

There is freedom when we air our hearts, and it also gives others the freedom to do the same.

Soon after the post was live, I received a message from a friend.  I had met this dear woman several years ago at a cooking competition.  We had sat together and prayed prior to the competition starting.  And while we keep up with each other via social media, the physical distance between us is great. Her message told me that she wanted to send something along to me to help me with the expense of this test.  I was instantly mortified.  It was not my intention for my post to be a “go fund me” call to help, and so I communicated that fact to my friend.  I told her that I was waiting on the Lord to provide, and that I could not accept her gift.  She kindly responded that it was indeed the Lord prompting her, and that I should accept it.

After a few conversations back and forth, I accepted her gift. I am not very good at receiving.  I am a much better giver.  Receiving requires us to leave our pride at the door.  It requires us to acknowledge that we have a need that we cannot satisfy within our own means.

About two weeks later another friend contacted me to tell me that she and her husband wanted to help us.  They wanted to send us some of ‘God’s money’ (that is exactly how she worded it). We had first met these friends at our church back in New Jersey.  They had moved several years ago, and like the friend above, we have kept up with each other on social media.   Again, I hemmed and I hawed and needed to be convinced to receive, but I did.

At this point, even before the physical bill had arrived, half of it had been paid for.  But the Lord was not done.

A week later my son asked me to come into his room to read an email that he had received.  He said that he had received numerous emails from the same sender over the course of the past few weeks.  He assumed that it was a scam and continued to ignore them until that day.  The emails told him that he was scheduled to receive a tuition refund.  I, too, found this odd.  My husband works at the university that my son attends.  My husband’s benefits cover the majority of my son’s tuition expenses.  I called the number in the email.  I also inquired at the university.  The refund was legit.  I am still unsure of how this was so because we only paid $800.00 for the semester’s fees, yet, we were slated to receive a $1400.00 refund.

By the week’s end I had received the bill for my echo cardiogram…on the same day that we received the tuition refund in the mail.  On the day that the bill arrived, the bill was already paid for in full.  In reality, the bill had been paid for long before that.  I stood there with the bill in one hand and the refund check in the other and smiled.

“I trust you Lord to fulfill this need.”

Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you. And he went away, proclaiming throughout the whole city how much Jesus had done for him.  Luke 8:39