My brother never wanted to come to church.  Even though both he and I had attended church regularly in our childhood, he quickly abandoned the notion of ever returning to church when he became an adult.  Despite us gently inviting him on holidays or special occasions, his answer was always no, and we respected that.

A little over four years ago, my family moved out of state to the Bible belt.  Coming from the North, this was a huge change for us. With a new move came a new church.  And with a new church came a newness in church culture.  Please note that a change in culture does not mean a change in doctrine.

One of the notable changes in our new church was the dress.  Attendees came wearing a wide array of clothing: from skirts to pants and suits to jeans.  Even the pastor was dressed casually in jeans and a simple shirt. No tie, no suit jacket, no starched Oxford shirt.  For some newcomers, this may have been cause to never return.  For us, it was cause to stay.

I remember the first Sunday that I put on a nice pair of jeans to wear to church.  When I walked out of my room my sons looked at me.  “Jeans?  You’re wearing jeans to church?!” Yes, that Sunday I wore jeans, and it felt completely freeing.  It was one of those moments that I surrendered one more false belief that I had held onto for so long. God didn’t need me to wear dressy clothes to church. My spirituality was not wrapped up in the clothes that I wore.

For nearly all of my life I have been surrounded by fellow church goers that placed a high priority on Sunday morning dress.  And while I don’t cast judgement on those who choose to wear suits, ties, and beautiful dresses to church, I don’t expect to be judged when I choose not to.  Unfortunately, judgement comes far too easily in some circles.

As an adult I would typically wear pants to church.  Nice pants, but pants.  I never wore jeans or came to church looking disheveled, but I was consistently on the more casual side of nice as were the other members of my family.  I wish that I could say there wasn’t judgement, but there was by some. Through direct and indirect comments, people let us know that we were too casual for their liking.

Prior to moving, I had spent nearly twenty years serving within children’s ministry, and on more than one occasion, I had children make disparaging comments about my clothing.  “Why do you always wear pants to church?  You shouldn’t be doing that.”  “Your shirt looks like a play shirt.  It’s made of cotton; it’s not for church.” “Your shoes look old; you shouldn’t wear them here.”  I wish these were fabricated statements, but they were not.  I wish that they were simply isolated statements from children, but they weren’t.

There are many who feel that somehow your spiritual maturity is directly linked to your dress.  If you attend church with finely coiffed hair, fancy clothes, and sparkling jewelry somehow you are deemed far more spiritual than someone opting to wear pants or jeans.  These thoughts were not only expressed but preached from the pulpit as well.

“You can tell the level of spiritual maturity by the clothing someone wears.”

I remember that statement so well.  It brought about such a visceral reaction within me. I had to stifle the “What?” that wanted to explode from my mouth. My kids heard it.  My husband heard it, and in the middle of the message all of us just kept looking at each other.  We all knew how wrong and unbiblical the statement was. As soon as church ended, we piled into the van and the questions and conversation filled the air.

Spiritual maturity is not bound up within a suit.  It is not woven into braided hair.  It does not sit upon the top of designer bags or dangle from the edge of golden earrings.  It does not stand stiff upon a starched collar or shine upon the tip of wingtip shoes.  It doesn’t find residence on the hem of a lovely flowing skirt or at the tips of manicured nails.

A man of spiritual maturity may don a flannel shirt and an old pair of jeans or a pair of work pants and sweaty t-shirt.  A woman of spiritual maturity may come to church with hair barely combed, free of makeup, wearing what she could gather together in the midst of a chaotic morning as she scrambled to get her children ready for church.  The well dressed are no more spiritually mature than those dressed in simple casualness.

If one believes that nicely dressed folks have a greater degree of spiritual maturity, we must then believe the opposing statement: people dressed in casual clothing (or what some deem inappropriate church dress) have a lesser degree of spiritual maturity.  I don’t find supporting evidence of that in the Bible.  I don’t see this in Jesus’ dress.  Jesus wore a seamless tunic.  Most tunics of the day were two piece tunics.  Research has shown that a seamless tunic was rather minimalist.  This was an interesting, historic look at clothing in Jesus’ day.  John the Baptist was rugged, wearing a garment of camel’s hair with a leather girdle about his waist (Matthew 3:4).   However, the Bible does make note of the Pharisees – those religious leaders who were so consumed with the outward appearances of spirituality.

“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long;”  Matthew 23:5

It all comes down to the heart.  There is nothing wrong with wearing beautiful clothes to church as long as your identity in Christ is not bound up in those clothes.  Equally, there is nothing wrong with wearing blue jeans and a flannel shirt to church.

We can likely agree on certain standards of dress within the church. The Bible does speak as to how we should dress and also provides ample warning against those who judge others based on their dress.

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works  2 Timothy 2:9-10

Before you applaud the idea of modesty in dress, remember this: modesty is not simply wearing a skirt below the knee or a shirt with a high neckline.  Someone over-adorning themselves lacks modesty as well. So, yes, whether you choose to attend church in casual clothing or fancy clothing, it should be modest.  But what if someone comes into the sanctuary dressed immodestly?  Will you show more concern for their dress or their heart?  Will you be quick to chastise their choice of dress or quick to get to know them on a personal level?  Will you recognize their personage or merely be consumed with their choice of attire?  Unfortunately, I know far too many firsthand stories of people who were ridiculed for having bare shoulders or a skirt above the knee while in church.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.   I Peter 3:3-4

I Samuel 16:7 reminds us that God looks at the heart, while man is often consumed with outward appearances.  Our God is far more concerned about inward beauty and the adornment of the unseen parts of ourselves.

For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?   James 2:2-5

This portion of Scripture in James is warning us not to give preferential treatment to those who enter the assembly in fine clothes, pushing aside the individual in shabby clothes.  If God is warning people not to treat people differently based on their clothing, then I believe it is within reason to assume that God does not do this either.  What really struck me in this passage is that both type of people entered the assembly. Both the finely dressed and shabby dressed were there.

I want to return back to the story of my brother.  One of my brother’s visits to our home came during Easter. Like other times, I knew I wanted to invite him to church.  But this time, my approach was far different.  I told him that I wanted to invite him to church, but I wanted him to know that our new church was different.  I explained that he could come to church in his jeans and hoodie and no one would blink an eye, stare, cast judgement, or make him feel as if he didn’t belong.  I explained that even the pastor would be in jeans.  And you know what?  He came to church.  I didn’t have to beg, plead, or hound him. So my brother, who hadn’t entered the doors of a church in decades, came to church on Easter Sunday in his jeans and hoodie.  Not one blinked an eye, stared, cast judgement, or made him feel like he didn’t belong.  Instead, he sat surrounded by others who looked just like him and heard about Jesus Christ – His sacrifice, His victory, and His great love.  That day my brother walked out of the church feeling nothing but love.